2/3 Helen Hong, Steve Young, Scout Durwood

It was truly a Happy (early) Valentine’s Day for the whole COMING IN HOT crew.

The show started with an appearance from THE SETTLE SISTERS. (no relation)

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These three very important business women (Linda, Barbara and Helene) were at the show to tell everyone how they could make their lives 65% better!

The ladies have been going bar to bar discussing their latest dating system (now available on VHS).

While it has seen limited success, it really is an incredibly well thought out program that tells you precisely how to settle so you don’t die alone.

The sisters then went on to sing the program’s theme song, “Settle For You,” (to the tune of the Bruno Mars hit, “Marry You.”

Here’s a little taste of the song:

And here are the full lyrics to the song:

It’s a Valentine’s Night

I’m looking for someone dumb to do

Hey baby… I think I wanna settle for you.

Is it that I’m over thirty-five?

Or that I’ve had some booze?

Who cares baby? I think I wanna settle for you.

 

Well I know this really dark bar

Nowhere near my town

We can go

No one will know…

Oh come on… Carl?

Who cares if we’re trashed, got a pocket full of hash, and some blow…

Shots of patron,

And it’s on… Merle?

 

Don’t say no, no, no, no, no

Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And we’ll go, go, go, go, go

Am I ready?

Ugh, I’m ready.

 

Cuz it’s a Valentine’s Night

I’m looking for someone dumb to do

Hey baby… I think I wanna settle for you.

Is it that I’m over thirty-five?

Or that I’ve had some booze?

Who cares baby? I think I wanna settle for you.

 

Oh! I’ll wear nuvaring,

And a condom you can bring

Like ooooohhhhh

So whatcha wanna do?

Let’s just run… Pearl?

 

When we wake up

We should just break up, that’s cool

No, I won’t blame you.

We’re just settling, Earl?

Don’t say no, no, no, no, no

Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And we’ll go, go, go, go, go.

Am I ready?

Ugh, I’m ready.

 

Cuz it’s a Valentine’s Night

I’m looking for someone dumb to do

Hey baby… I think I wanna settle for you.

Is it that I’m over thirty-five?

Or that I’ve had some booze?

Who cares baby? I think I wanna settle for you.

Okay, yeah… you.

Let’s just do it, baby,

Let’s just do it, baby, baby.

Okay, yeah… you.

Let’s just do it, baby,

Let’s just do it, baby, baby

Oy…

 

It’s a Valentine’s Night

I’m looking for someone dumb to do

Hey baby… I think I wanna settle for you.

Is it that I’m over thirty-five?

Or that I’ve had some booze?

Who cares baby? I think I wanna settle for you.

 

After their song, one of the show’s producers Jessica Glassberg took the stage to do her set. Everyone must have been laughing so hard they forgot to take a picture.

This set was followed by the hilarious Helen Hong.

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Helen had to catch an early flight in order to appear on NPR’s “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.” Hello… CELEBRITY STATUS!

Then, the show’s second producer, Leah Dubie, made her fantastic appearance.

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But don’t worry, this wouldn’t be the last we’d see of Leah.

Steve Young then took to the stage and killed it. Almost literally. Mid-set, the pregnant, Jessica took a tumble (more embarrassing than baby-damaging)

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A fun-filled round of, “What’s Worse?”  was played. But again, since we were all having way too much fun, no one was able to take pictures.

One of the questions was, “What’s worse: a grown man dressed as cupid or that astronaut who wore a diaper?” And sadly, everyone was laughing too much to pull our their phones and snag of picture of Leah in her cardboard car, wearing… you guessed it… an adult diaper.

After prizes were distributed to audience members, the show’s third producer took the stage: Katie Massa Kennedy:

 

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After delivering a super solid set, it was time for Leah to return one last time. Comedian, Scout Durwood had been put on vocal rest, so Leah joined her to read Scout’s hilarious jokes.

 

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The show wrapped up with the three producers joining together to sing one of Scout’s original songs.

 

Hilarity and love ensued.

 

Join us next month, Wednesday, March 2nd when we will be coming in even hotter!

 

 

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